Artists

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately (believe it or not...), and as such it's time for more of my random theorizing/ ranting. Beware if the lack of eloquence, I haven't really organized any of these thoughts, I'm tired, and semi-distracted. For those of you who want to read what the crazy voice(s?) in my head tell(s) me. :3

What is it that sets artists apart from other people? By artists I mean musicians, visual artists, actors, the like... What makes us different? What gives us our natural abilities? I'm going to ignore religion here for a second, because it's difficult to look at things objectively and from a semi-philosophical perspective if we dismiss this as a 'god-given talent'. Anyway. I just have so many questions. When it comes to drawing, I don't understand really what it is that makes me be able to translate what I see into what my fingers make come out on the page. Where does the disconnect happen for 'non-artistic' people? Is it somewhere between the eyes and the brain, or between the brain and the hands?

It makes me think about the greatest artists in history... So many of them then, and now when you think about it, have deep set psychological issues. I'm much too lazy to go look any up right now (maybe later when I actually organize this), but think about it. Drug addiction, manic depression, schizophrenia, paranoia, it's all the same with the best of the best.

I look at myself, and I understand why I'll never be the best. I claim no chance at greatness, I know that I do what I do moderately well, and I'm happy with that. But I am manic depressive, bipolar, call it what you may, and I believe that that is a definite factor regarding my talent.

Of course, then I ask, why. I think it's probably because people who are bipolar live life on a different level than 'normal' people. Two different levels, really. There are incredible highs, and incredible lows. The reason I refuse to take medicine for my 'depression'. I think that those euphoric times are worth it. It's like I live on a different plane than other people, I see things differently. Almost like a constant buzz, a constant high, then a debilitating crash that blindsides me, catches me like a slap in the face. But in those highs and those lows I am unbelievably inspired, I produce my best work, whether it's writing or drawing...